Well I started off rocky on the whole “documentation” thing.
It’s amazing though, even after just 3 short days I feel like a better mother… more unplugged, intentional, and present. I’ve been “off” Facebook for over a week now as well which I’m pretty sure was slowly eating my soul. It’s funny now looking back that I would get frustrated at Lily for fussing and wanting attention when I was scrolling through Facebook.
Like HELLO SARAH. The people on Facebook (of which some I hardly know) have more important lives than the one sitting right in front of you??? You probably aren’t going to alter any of those peoples state of being by a comment or a like. But the little girl sitting in front of you? You will literally shape her entire life. HER ENTIRE…LIFE.
Last week I had an epiphany of sorts, and slammed my laptop shut, deleted my Facebook app off my phone and posted a status that I would be off Facebook, before I really even knew what I was doing. Some call it being impulsive…which I won’t deny I have been in the past…but I call it “Holy Spirit Take-Over”. Ha.
I’ve been pretty guarded in my life with letting my true self shine. I’m a people pleaser by nature, and always want people to like me…to the extreme of changing everything I am to fit into the personalities of who I might be hanging out with. After becoming a mother, even with all of my doubts and thoughts of failure, I realized that I can never accomplish being the fullest version of myself until I let God literally into every portion of my life. Once I realized I could do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING without Christ that’s when things starting shifting for me in motherhood, wifehood, homemaker-hood (not a word). I started to really LET MY FREAK FLAG FLY.
During my bible study this week, I had some MAJOR confirmation that I am doing the right thing by unplugging. We’re studying 1 John and there’s a WHOLE lot of in-your-face-truth from that book.
The notes I got for this week stated:
“Though our salvation depends on Faith, our eternal reward depends on faithfulness.”
It went on to say:
“God expects our actions after salvation to reflect the glory of God within us. It DOES make a difference what we do. Only God can balance all of the variables: individual gifts, cultural conditions, uncertainties of life, and the opportunities we are given.
The opportunities we are given. DING DING DING. Light bulb.
What opportunities has God given me this very second that I have been taking for granted?
Being the best mother I can.
Having a home. Isn’t that the key for me? I WILL be judged according to what I did on this earth, including how I raised my kids and how I used Gods opportunities to the very best of my ability. We hate to think about the other aspects of God, outside of “Loving, Kind, Gentle, Forgiver”. But he is also our Judge, Wrathful, and our Discipliner.
“The life of the child bears the imprint of the character of the parent.”
That is some heavy stuff.
If our disposition is something outside of love, kindness, respect, joy, honor, our children WILL model it!
They will model disrespect if that’s how you treat your spouse or other people.
They will swear if you swear.
They will have poor self-esteem if you do.
They will have bad body image if you do.
They will turn their nose at those less fortunate if you do.
They will judge if you judge.
They will never stand firm in their Faith, if you don’t.
They will be lazy if you are lazy.
I’m glad I’m learning all of this now, before my daughter knows how much of a failure I was being to her.
Her and I have spent more quality time together the last couple of days and I am better for it. I know I will keep learning and keep making mistakes, but at least I am more aware of my actions, good and bad; and that eventually I will be judged for them.
We had an AWESOME play date with Lily’s cousin Joelle. They’re only 3 weeks apart in age (Joelle is older). It’s hilarious to watch them play together. And by play I mean steal each others toys, and overcome their personality differences.
Lily is this insane people lover already and wants to love on Jo-Jo and hug her and kiss her and basically be right next to her…and Joelle is Miss. Independent and doesn’t understand why Lily is wanting hugs all the time or is up in her business.
Are they going to remember playing together at this age? Probably not, but I honestly think it benefits kids to play with other kids…even when they’re too young to remember. Lily lights up when Joelle is around, and she’s only 7 months old. Plus Joelle is A LOT more advanced than Lily and you can see Lily figuring things out by watching her. And maybe a little bit of Lily’s cuddly, bubbliness will rub off on Joelle eventually ha!
Lily and I made an apple pie while having a serious dance party in the kitchen. My mom and sister made me this apron a long time ago, and now that I’m nursing my ta-ta’s are WAY too big for it. (Just being honest here). So I folded it up and put it on Lily.
I love working in the kitchen with Lily and Gage (my step-son). I know some people get frustrated when their kids are underneath their feet, but I honestly love it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right…that she would want to be right where I am. Plus flour on her cute little cheeks about made me jump my hubs right then and there to go make 10 more of her.
I think it is very important to teach your kids house skills. Gage, just as much as Lily will know how to cook, clean, and do laundry. (We’ve already taught Gage those things at 11) My mom and dad both cooked a lot when I was growing up and I still call them for advice with recipes. It’s really sad to me when families eat out of boxes or the frozen section. Because honestly it is BOMB.COM to make something from scratch and everyone eats it up because it’s so delicious. (Ego check, Sarah).
Funny story: I had the “60’s, 70’s, and 80’s” station playing on Pandora…Gage comes out of his bedroom and says:
“Sarah, are you listening to the oldies station? Like from the 90’s?”
So. It’s come to this, has it? The decade I was born in is officially “The Oldies” music to the current generation. I guess everyone has their time.
After that VERY messy pie baking/dance party time, I gave Lily a bath in the sink. She still won’t splash around, which I think is hilarious. All in due time though.
During the day we stacked blocks, read books, sang some educational songs, (and some non-educational ones…What’s up, Ludacris!), and worked on crawling.
I hilariously gave Lily her first non-professional pedicure. Listen, all you judgey, mc-judgesters, the room was WELL ventilated and I was done in about 2 seconds, as her toenails are basically nonexistent. I just kind of painted her toes, trying to hit some part of the nail, and then put her in the bathtub after that to wash all of the extra off ha!
It was fun though. I painted mine the same color. MAN having a daughter is fun! Not going to lie though, I haven’t done my own toes since 1 week before she was born, and I had a pedicure to try and go into labor. Listen, my priorities changed, ALRIGHT. It was either do a load of laundry/wash dishes/work on the garden while she napped or paint my toes…chores won…every time.
We played a lot of peek-a-boo and patty cake.
I tried putting on “Here Comes Peter Cotton Tale” but that lasted a whole 3 minutes and she was off scooting somewhere. (We don’t crawl, we army crawl…all upper body baby).
Hopefully today I’ll do the “Mommy and Me Yoga” I wanted to do yesterday. I might just end up stretching her and I out…that counts, right?