I’ve struggled with dreaming “too big” my whole life. When I say “too big” I guess what I really mean is dreaming in a way that honors my flesh and not God.
Like: “I want a camper. And a boat. Oh and you know what would be awesome? Jet skis. Jet skis sound really cool. And I’d love a $500,000 house with 50 acres of timber. And a pond. Definitely needs a pond. In ground pool? Yes. That would ROCK!”
Things. Objects. Wants. All were items I found in “2009 Sarah’s Journal”. And I prayed those things. I prayed for boats and to marry a rich husband and to live in a fancy house. I’m talking Jesus here…but what the (blankedy blank blank) Sarah.
I know we change and adapt the older we get. Heck, I disgust myself from a year ago…just reading the selfish garbage that I wrote in my journal. (Just being honest and real with y’all). So I’m going to forgive my past self for being so selfish and move on.
But then I tend to go the opposite way.
I tend to go to the “Ok God… Help me be realistic.”
And I put God on this time line. “Ok, so if I can’t have my dreams, help me patient. So for 1-3 years we’ll wait, we will wait and keep going on this path. Then in 3-5 years we will have paid off all our debt and been able to save for a home in the country. Ya, 3-5 years sounds good. And then in 5-7 years, that’s when I can invest in chickens and MAYBE just MAYBE you could bring a small hoop house along? And God, if there isn’t a country home, I guess I could be ok with one that was right outside town or backed up to the fields.”
You know we offend God when we dull down our dreams right? We OFFEND God when we say “Well, I feel called here God. I feel called to be a missionary overseas and REALLY want to. But I don’t know how the finances are going to come through. So I’ll keep working my 40 hour a week job and going on trips here and there.”
God is offended when I offer up a time line of what I THINK would work. Of how I THINK our finances will play out.
I honestly believe that God is laughing at me and angry with me all in the same span of 2 seconds. He’s laughing at me because he knows what he has in store for me, and thinks it’s funny that I get tunnel vision. And then he gets angry that I ONCE AGAIN am doubting him.
ONCE AGAIN I question him, “Will you? Will you do this God? Will you pour your blessings out? Will I be overflowing and spilling over? Will you be in the details? Will you be in the tomorrow that I cannot see? Will you be working in the background on things that I haven’t even thought to pray about? Will you?”
Joyce Meyer says it perfectly: “Learn to enjoy where you are on the way to where you’re going.”
So be content with where you are in your life. But don’t let contentment become laziness or routine. You can be content with where you are while still walking and taking steps towards where God is leading you.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Hebrews 11 goes on to give examples of the men and women in the bible who did what God commanded them to do, even when they could not see his intentions. It talks about Abraham, who went blindly and followed God blindly to his inheritance.
All of these people walked by Faith, and Faith alone.
I love what Hebrews 11:14-16
“People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”
They had Faith that God would see them through. Faith that God knew better than they did. Faith that God had a plan and a place for them. I know the text is referring to Heaven…but I like to parallel it with my life.
If we keep thinking “This is the only place we will ever live because we can’t afford more.” Or “This is the only job I’ll ever have because I won’t step out and do something different. I don’t want to, it’s scary.” Or “I’ll never be free from this. It’s just part of me now.” Or better yet “I don’t WANT something different. Something different is hard and scary and gives me anxiety. I can’t… I just can’t God.”
We will NEVER see the heavenly country God has planned for us if we keep looking back…if we keep thinking WE KNOW BEST.
Long for the AMAZING things God has planned for you. Long and hope and dream. Be content and happy where you are, but keep moving forward to what God has planned for you.
Just. Keep. Moving.